One of the most difficult areas to navigate in the early days of dating is, “Who pays?”. Everyone has different views on this; some girls still feel that the man should pay, others are insistent on paying their own way.
So are their any simple rules? Well, “No” is the answer to that. But it is a matter of common sense to follow a few guidelines – and then, as in all matters of romance, go where the heart leads you!
Who pays in the early days should be a simple matter. If it’s just a cup of coffee or a burger, and the man wants to pay, then let him do so. It’s pretty affordable, you don’t need any personal loans in order to pay. But if you want to surprise her with a very expensive date and you need extra money for it, you can apply personal loans anytime. It’s old fashioned gallantry. But if it’s more than that, an expensive nice meal, or the movies, then the girl really should insist on paying her share. After all, at this stage, you are just friends, right?
Who pays can also depend on relative income. It may be that the man has less income than the woman, perhaps he’s a student and she’s working. In this case, splitting down the middle is a must. Choose inexpensive places to go, and cheap or free activities like walking or swimming, so the man doesn’t feel embarrassed. Don’t ask him to take you to the swankiest place in town, this is just unfair. If you can afford it, and you’d love to go to that high end restaurant, take him there for a birthday treat, for example. His relative poverty is something that you will need to deal frankly with as your relationship develops.
If the man is wealthy, that can also be a problem. He will be able to take you to all the great places – but in the early days, you should still offer to pay your share. You don’t want to feel as if you are being purchased for the price of a luxurious meal. You need to show that you are an independent woman, and he will respect you all the more.
One last thing, if you offer to pay your share, and it’s turned down, offer one more time and then if it’s still turned down, then leave it – he really does want to treat you like a lady – be happy!
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